So what do really want, and how badly do you want it?

9 July 2010

This week I suddenly realised that I have to a large extent created the life I wanted for myself.  (And yes, of course there’s room for growth!)

Right now I’m living in a beautiful cottage in a beautiful village – something I’ve wanted for a long time.  I am surrounded by nature, peace and quiet – all very important to me.  I worked a few hours this morning and then went for a walk in a forest nearby.  Now I’m writing the e-zine that you’re reading and then I’ll work a few more hours after lunch. I always wanted the freedom to decide when, where and how to work. I am collaborating with very interesting people on interesting projects; I travel around the country and the world  teach, present and see private clients – exactly the way I want to. 

I get to decide where to spend my energy and how to spend my time.

Now before you think that’s just me, think again; there was a time when I didn’t think that this would ever be possible for me.  But isn’t it true for you too, that you get to decide how and where to apply yourself in life?  Underneath the justifications and excuses, I mean?

What do you really want in your life and and even more importantly, why? 

Here are the four steps that helped me to get where I am and I’m hoping they’ll help you too.

STEP 1:  DECIDE

It has to start with a decision and only you can decide that you’re worth it so here’s my question to you:  when will you decide that you want what you want and that it’s possible for you to achieve it?

A lot of people think they’ll do it ‘one day’.  The problem with that is that ‘one day’ usually never comes.

STEP 2:  COMMIT (NO MATTER WHAT)

Once you’ve decided that you’re going to create what you want you have to commit – no matter what.

Waiting for your dream life to appear all by itself is like standing on a cliff side waiting for a bridge to appear.  That’s not the way life works. 

It’s when you take that step or leap into the unknown that the bridge appears as if by magic; it’s about having faith that you’ll be ok no matter what happens.  It’s important to realise that even after that the road is not always easy, comfortable or paved with gold; success is falling down four times and getting up five and sometimes it sucks!

I’ve had lots of disappointments and apparent ‘failures’ since I’ve started my business and at times I felt like giving up. And then I got up again and reminded myself of where I was heading, of my dream, and why that was important to me.

So when it comes to your dreams and goals, what are you willing to commit to and what may you need to give up for it?

STEP 3:  ACT

Taking action is a critical step and it’s true that successful people often do what unsuccessful people are unwilling to do.  However, it’s about taking the right action; I could only build my business because I got professional help from a brilliant business coach who could help me with my next step, and then the next step, and the next one.

Some people get stuck because the actions required seem huge or they’re not sure where to start; if that’s true for you then start with something small but here’s the secret: do it today; make that phone call, send that email or have that conversation, today!

STEP 4:  ALLOW

No matter how hard you work you can always sabotage your own success.

To be truly successful (whatever success means to you) you have to allow it to come to you, you have to believe and know within yourself that you are worth it, that you deserve it and that you can create or attract it. 

CONCLUSION

It is possible to achieve what you want… if you say so.  And it does not always come about the way you think it will – more about this next time.

If you’re still not sure that you can make a difference you may enjoy this clip by Leo Buscaglia; just click on the picture and it will open in a new window; it’s an old clip and as relevant now as it ever was!

 

BOOK GIVEAWAY

To win a previously read copy of A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield, email me at bennie@deepliving.com by 18 July 2010 with the decisions you’re making right now about achieving your goals and dreams.

 A PATH WITH HEART by Jack Kornfield
The Classic Guide through the Perils & Promises of Spiritual Life 

 

  Click here for reviews and what other people thought.

 

 

 

BENNIE RECOMMENDS
2 days to change the rest of your life (or you don’t pay!)

Thought you had nothing to do over the bank holiday weekend of 28 – 29 August 2010? Think again – and there’s a crazy offer until 31 July!

With a maximum of 14 participants, the last time I ran this course it sold out.  It usually sells for £150 but I’m offering you a limited special deal – click here to see what’s in it for you and why you would want to attend.

I’ve never offered this course for so little but I like teaching full classes and I have limited time for marketing now so there are only 8 seats left at that price – click here for more details.

IN CLOSING

I have one more client discovery session today and then it’s weekend – yay!  Wherever you are and whatever you do, I hope that you too will find something to do today that you enjoy.

Best wishes

Bennie

PS) Thanks to those who emailed me about what you would have done in my decision in Disney World.  I took the 2nd day out for myself, recharged my batteries and was able to rejoin my family for a great last day!

PPS) Did you know that I offer 30 minute free discovery sessions to help you move closer to your dreams and goals?  Why not book one right now?

Ask the RIGHT questions (or get to be right about why you can’t have what you say you want)

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28 June 2010

My trip to the USA is coming to an end and I’m heading back to the UK tomorrow to attend a great men’s training called the New Warrior Training Adventure. It’s an international organisation so you may want to check it out.  Let me tell you straight up, if you Google it you’ll find a lot of bad press.  If you know me then think about it and decide for yourself if you want to believe everything you read or if you’d rather decide for yourself if you want to attend a life transformational training.

This morning I was working on some more EFT tapping suggestions for clients when I thought that in life we get to choose whether we want to be to right about our perceived limitations or ask ourselves the right questions to empower ourselves.

Let me give you an example.

About a year ago I found out about Pamela Bruner. I liked what she had to say and more importantly she was someone who seemed to lead by example (one of my highest leadership values); she was already successful, teaching others to be successful.

So I decided that I wanted her to be my business coach but there was a problem!  At the time I had financial difficulties and couldn’t afford to hire her (or so I thought…)

But then, instead of looking at my bank account (‘proof’ that I couldn’t afford her) I started asking myself ‘How can I afford to hire her?’  Before I knew it answers started to come into my head and within a few days I had found the money I needed.

Now here’s what I know:  if I had continued finding reasons (even valid ones!) about why I could not afford it, I would have got to be right about it.  My friends would probably all have agreed and helped me justify it (I mean, my bank balance was there, red on white, what more proof did I need?!)

And I would have missed out on a great opportunity.

So when you think of something you say you want, especially if you or others have a ton of reasons on why you can’t, you may want to ask yourself these empowering questions:

• How could I achieve/create/attract this…?
• If it was possible, how?
• Who would I be if I believed that it was possible?
• If there was one thing that I haven’t done yet that had I done it I would have achieved this by now, what would it be?
• What is one thing I can do right now to move closer to this?
• If other people have this already, how did they get it?
• What if I had access to all the same resources that successful people have access to?
• What if I had everything I need right inside of me?

Well the sun’s out so ciao for now!

Best wishes
Bennie Naude

PS) Free tapping audios, videos, mini-courses and articles here.

www.deepliving.com
bennie@deepliving.com

When it’s not safe to change

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27 June 2010

It’s a gorgeous Sunday here at the beach house; I woke up at 6.30am, got up and got some things done that have been brewing on my ‘to-do’ list for a weeks now.  Yes, I’m officially on holiday and it always fascinates me how, once I put my mind to something it seems to just get done rather than me doing it, do you know what I mean?

In one of my early morning creations (support emails to clients who want to make change) I listed the 7 top reasons why people won’t change:

• fear of failure
• fear of success
• fear of being judged
• fear of being rejected
• believing that they don’t deserve it
• punishing themselves (usually stemming from misplaced guilt or shame)
• limiting beliefs that their dreams are not possible or that they don’t have what it takes to create them

As I relate this list to my own life and the lives of those I know I am yet again amazed by what a fascinating species we are, don’t you think?  I mean, the lengths we’ll go to protect ourselves when our minds (consciously or unconsciously!) thinks that it’s not safe to change…it just boggles the mind!

The rest of the family have now started waking up so here I go…

Best wishes
Bennie Naude

PS) Free tapping audios, videos, mini-courses and articles here.

www.deepliving.com
bennie@deepliving.com

Spending time with family, relaxing and working

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26 June 2010

We left my brother’s place in NY 8am this morning; it was a short night after I stayed up late trying to add the Facebook ‘Like’ button to my blog here, with no luck 😦

After an easy 2 hour drive we arrived in Long Beach Island (not to be confused with Long Beach, or Long Island), it’s a beautiful day here and we settled into the rented beach house after a great lunch.

I’m not into soccer/football so while they’re watching USA versus Ghana I was outside on the patio reading my book (100 years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez – a very entertaining read).  I fell asleep in my chair (I said it was a short night!).

When I woke up I suddenly and completely out of the blue had this idea to implement a few business ideas that have been floating around for a while so I got up, came inside, fired up the Thinkpad and here I am, doing something in a fairly short amount of time that had been brewing for months… how’s that?

So where’s the line between downtime and work time, between taking much-needed time OUT versus taking inspired action, between enjoying the moment and postponing ‘work’ versus simply doing what you love, in the moment, when you feel like it?

Best wishes
Bennie Naude

PS) Free tapping audios, videos, mini-courses and articles here.

www.deepliving.com
bennie@deepliving.com

What does being true to yourself really mean?

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25 June 2010

As I’m writing this in Orlando, Florida it’s only 7.30am and already 26 degrees Celsius! I’m here with my sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew in my first visit to Disney World.

Last week I had lunch at The River Club restaurant in Nyack, New Jersey with my brother.  A sign in the men’s room says

Other than making me smile it allowed me to wonder about my beliefs and what I stood for in life.  Since beliefs drive most of our behaviour you’d want to change them if they no longer serve you, wouldn’t you?

 What are your beliefs around being true to yourself?

• is it good or selfish to be true to yourself, or does it depend on the circumstances?
• are you responsible for other people’s feelings?
• do you do what you think other people want in order to be safe, liked, loved or accepted?

In every moment we get to choose which belief we want to make more important.  It’s easy to be true to ourselves when there’s a lot of agreement for our way of thinking but where do you go when you think that you may upset or hurt others?

 As I said, this was my first time in Disney World and I knew that I was supposed to have fun – the place just begs to be loved and enjoyed, right?  But the truth was that because I wasn’t feeling well (minor cold) I didn’t particularly enjoy some parts of it. 

 As I started thinking about staying at the hotel the next day (even though we’d paid to for three days at Disney World and there was certainly an expectation that I’d go), I started a debate in my head about how my family might feel – they paid my airfare there and I’ve not seen them in over a year so surely I owed them to go; maybe I could just just grin and bear it and pretend I was having fun; maybe I could just be honest … but then another voice would tell me to not be so petty, to just ‘get over it’ and enjoy myself…

 On and on and on my internal dialogue went … literally for hours (are you tired already?!) 

What are your beliefs around being true to yourself and more importantly, how’s that working or not working in your life?

Bennie Naude

PS) Free tapping audios, videos, mini-courses and articles here.

www.deepliving.com
bennie@deepliving.com